| Mr.
Hawthorne was a local JP, hence his
nickname, 'Judd'. When I started at
Prescot Grammar School in 1957, Judd was
head of physics. This small, black suited
chap rarely taught the younger forms and,
only occasionally, did he stray far from
room 7. Even then, the odds were that it
was only to collect an odd piece of
equipment from the other and bigger
physics lab. As regular as clockwork, he
headed home each day for his lunch, his
pipe emitting sparks and clouds of smoke
as he strolled purposefully across the
playground. I was in 4b1 before I had him
as a teacher and first became aware of
his wicked sense of humour. "Have you
seen Arthur?", he asked one day.
"Arthur
who?"
"Our
thermometer!"
By then,
he was very hard of hearing and his
humour was sometimes unintentional. One
boy had his hand up. "What is it
now?" Judd asked with his usual
feigned impatience. Could the boy be
excused? Judd thought the he was asking
if he could sharpen his pencil. "Do
it in the basket - and don?t drop bits
around!"
It was
rare to find him in a bad mood but I
remember Battersby and Spencer being
"thrashed" (his word) with a
half metre rule - doubtless they deserved
it. I too overtaxed his patience but not
until I was in the lower sixth.
Judd was
walking up and down the aisle of room 7
dictating notes ("Every body shall
persevere in its state of rest or of
uniform motion except insofar as it be
compelled to change that state of rest or
of uniform motion......." Funny how
you remember such phrases years later!)
Andy Parker landed the first - a sticky
bud right in the middle of the back of
the gown which was hanging loosely off
Judd's shoulders. Within a short space of
time, it had been joined by several
others. My own contribution was already
on its way when Judd turned slightly (or
maybe I was just a rotten shot) and the
sticky bud knocked his hearing aid for
six!
I owned
up at once, of course, and was despatched
to, "report myself to the
headmaster" who told me what a silly
boy I'd been, announced that he would be
writing to my parents and dismissed me
with a single word, "Go." I
should, of course, have gone, but it was
neither the outcome I had been
anticipating nor the punishment I was
mentally prepared for. Halfway to the
door, I turned back. "Please Sir.
Can I have six of the best instead?"
I'd been
whacked often enough but I'd never had
the cane before and, frankly, I had no
desire to rectify that omission. I had an
inkling that it would be rather more
unpleasant than Joe's slipper - but
anything was better than a letter to my
parents. The Old Man reminded me that I
was in the lower sixth - but seemed more
favourably inclined when I pointed out
that I'd got there via 5R and was only
really a fifth former. With hindsight, I
reckon it occurred to him that beating me
was the easier option for him too.
The cane
was altogether longer and thicker than I
had expected. It bent easily as he flexed
it. My suspicion that it was going to
hurt was heightened by the discovery that
the back of the armchair was just the
right height for its secondary purpose
and by the well rehearsed way in which
the tail of my blazer was folded clear of
the tightly stretched seat of my school
trousers. What came next was indeed worse
- considerably worse - than Joe's
slipper. It stung like the devil and it
was a relief to escape to the relative
sanctity of the corridor for a spot of
vigorous bottom rubbing before returning
to room 7 trying to appear as nonchalant
as I could and wondering why I'd
requested six and not simply asked to be
caned and left the tariff up to him. I
hope nobody noticed the cringe when I got
back to my place and sat on the wooden
stool! After the lesson, Judd got the
unrequired and unexpected apology he
richly deserved.
Mr.
Hawthorn chivvied me through A level
Physics before I went to university and
he retired. Not long after, I heard that
he had died. Tom Tyson and I went to his
funeral. We wrote to his widow and family
but fond memories live on. Mr. Briggs too
passed away about the same time. He
wasn't the sort of person you could like
as such but he was universally respected.
The mortar board he wore for assembly
exemplified his status. Otherwise, you
rarely saw him unless he was on a
anti-fag mission to the bogs.
He once
came down to Hope Street (in his gown)
after school. Never did the Crosville
buses fill so orderly. On another
occasion when I was in the fifth form, he
stood in to cover a French lesson and it
was the best French lesson I can remember
- something about a grammatical football
team. Mr. Briggs never married. He lived
in the large house on the west side of
the playing field north of the school and
his garden frequently supplied the
rhubarb and apples which made their way
into the pies and crumbles we consumed
with (not always) lumpy custard in the
canteen.
He was
precisely the kind of headmaster a large
boys school needed. He knew how to
respond to the steady stream of detention
defaulters, truants, petty thieves,
toilet door artists, smokers and
practical jokers, not to mention those
who were sent out, sneaked out (at
lunchtime), upset bus conductors and the
real villains who dared to come to school
not wearing a cap or to interrupt the Old
Man?s assembly ("There's a boy there
laughing - yes you.") - if only they
still made them like that! It was mentors
like Messrs. Hawthorne and Briggs (and
others, especially Mr. Lathom and Mr.
Harvey) that lured me into a career as a
teacher.
When I
was appointed head of a grammar school in
the seventies, headmasters were still
expected to get down to the bottom of
things when it came to enforcing good
behaviour so I saw both ends of the
proverbial stick! I was only one of
countless hundreds, maybe th ousands, of
boys who got their just desserts in the
old man's study - but there can't have
been who were foolish enough to ask for
it!
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