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Memories of PGS and PGGS School Dinners
 

Towards the late 60s the Dining Hall system was changed to a trendy Cafeteria hatch-servery style. This was possibly an egalitarian gesture courtesy of JCSW. The layout was thereafter randomly scattered tables for four and you could sit anywhere. Sometimes if you were really unlucky a Master or two would join you.

Prior to then lunch, or dinner as we rightly called it, was taken in two sittings. Pairs of end-to-end rectangular tables were laid out in regimental rows. There was a chair at each end and benches along the sides. At the ends would sit a 5th or 6th former, possibly a 4th in the second sitting. They were responsible for serving the meal to the other six kids on the table. I suppose most of these serving boys were decent. However I have no doubt that often the head of the table was taken by a bullying sociopath. These nearly always had a pair of sycophantic 3rd year vultures as their immediate assistants. At the far end of each table, i.e. where the two tables joined, were sat the first years, the ‘Newts’. These were often fed the poorest portions from the pressed-metal serving trays; and almost inevitably they would be treated to the big blob of ‘skin’ off the top of the custard jug.

Before the meal a Prefect said Grace. There were a number of options but the Latin one was the best. I never knew what it meant.

The Masters sat at a long table in the centre of the Hall. I think they had a table cloth. At their head sat “Spud” Heywood. He would often stand and make long pronouncements usually bemoaning the amount of noise we all made and the generally piggish manners he often observed. He would also collect overdue dinner money. It wasn’t called lunch money so it had to be dinner, right? Sometimes he would be really mad and would yell until his face went purple. Is it an apocryphal tale that one time he yelled so hard that his dentures flew out?

It was believed that “Spud” had had most of his stomach removed, which might explain why he had a personal rice pudding made each day. I later heard that it was considered an honour by some Masters to be invited to share “Spud’s” rice pud.

On the menu we all had our favourites but one of mine was that rectangular cheese flan with half a tomato buried in it. Roast potatoes must have been everyone’s favourite because we had them every day for at least the first five years. Most of all, nothing could beat the chocolate sponge with pink custard.

Tom Storrow responded to the original posting and told us of the Press Gang system which led to him becoming one of the “waiters”. These lads brought the serving trays to the heads of table and cleared away dishes. It was a messy job but not without it’s benefits as almost limitless seconds were available to this crew. This may explain why I do not recall any boy bemoaning the fact he’d been pressed into this task. This reminded me of another form of Press Gang. The “Nab”. This was made up of prefects who would scour the corridors and schoolyard for boys to make up the places for the 1st sitting. It was terrible thing to be caught as it meant you couldn’t play footy with your mates.

Ian Easthope responded to the request for the words to the Latin Grace: -

Benedict domine nos
Et es haec tua donna,
Quae tae tua largitatae,
Sumus sumturae.
Per Christum dominum nostrum, Amen.

(In an email he later added, “Don't know what it means precisely, but think it is Pope-speak for "For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us truly thankful".) Ian’s Brother Jeff posted a reply reminding Ian of the total cock-up that he (Ian) had made when first granted the honour of reading it out. Mike Winn assures me that words are nauseatingly self-regarding and self-pitying. In which case I don’t want to know, I just like the sound. Bit like Opera I suppose.

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Comments from the Prescotian Forum
When I was in the Upper Sixth, I eventually became a prefect and was one of the few prefects who was prepared to cover second sittings. Whilst I always read the shortest grace, my pal Alan Knowles who was a language buff insisted on reading the latin version! The dinner ladies always put the prefects’ meals in the oven but when they arrived they were so hot they burnt your mouth!

There was one dessert I liked but it was many years later that I discovered that it was Manchester tart! There is a confectionary shop in Wavertree, Liverpool that has found an old recipe for Liverpool tart but when I sampled this last year it was quite bland compared with Manchester tart. Probably one of the very few things relating to Manchester that I prefer to Liverpool! [John Burt]


If you were a newt at the bottom of the table you were doomed to malnutrition from the outset. Half portions of anything tasty and the crap end of anything nasty (ie the custard skin). [Ian Lawrenson]
There were 9 people at each table. The "Head of Table" would be a Sixth- or Fifth-Former. Along the other 8 seats (down either side of the table) would be arranged the other boys; the younger you were, the further away from the "head". If you were a newt (or sometimes a second-year) and therefore at the bottom of the table, you not only got the crappiest food, but, to add insult to injury, you had to go up and collect the food for the whole table from the servery. [Paul Carey]
I think the meals we were given in the '60s were theoretically well balanced - providing the right sized portions were eaten. Overcooking in too much water, no doubt, depleted the vitamin and mineral content but I would guess not too seriously. However, the food was so unpalatable that many of us would eat very little of it. Others would stuff themselves with it - either out of the feeling of satisfaction that comes from a full stomach or through raw greed.

I pleaded with my mother to let me bring a packed lunch instead, and she eventually cracked and let me. (Although I now know that it caused her extra trouble to prepare them). This improved my diet in two ways: I actually ate a nutritious lunch every day. But my mother also started preparing a full meal in the evening, rather than "tea" that we had had previously. I wonder how many other parents had assumed that a school "dinner" was the main meal of the day.

Custard Skin: The skin on the custard was usually treated with revulsion. There were basically two rituals available - Russian Roulette or victimisation. I eventually realised that the skin consisted of cream and was rather tasty, so I was quite pleased to receive it. I liked seconds of most of the puddings, but rarely ate the firsts of the overcooked pototoes, cabbage, carrots, watered-down baked beans and the stringy meat.
[Oliver James]
But boys.. do you remember they had a wonderful cheese pie(now it would be Quiche) and lovely rhubarb crumble and treacle sponge pudding?? This was at PGGS but think this column needs a bit of female nostalgia too. We had the same set up with servers etc. but think the girls were a little kinder to the newts!!! [Anon of PGGS]
I could barely eat the stuff... Mind you, I am mentally scarred, took me years before I could face mashed spuds without remembering those green and blacks lumps! And as for flypie, sago and custard skin... [Paul Gerrard]
I was one of those newts who enjoyed going on 1st dinners and didn't avoid "the nab" why? easy because my brother was a table monitor so even though I was down the end of the table I still got more than anyone and never got the crappy bits of food. I remember that the reason people did not want to go on first sittings was because when everyone on second sitting had been served the dinner ladies brought out what was left and gave it out to anyone who wanted more. Funny how we all complained about school dinners but when we had the chance of seconds we would jump at the chance. [Anon, PGS]
I always remember school dinners being a pastie, brown sauce,cup of tea and two loosies in Maisies!!!! [Geoff Jones]
I've always had this funny thing about a certain smell. If the water which has been used to boil cabbage or cauliflower somehow gets out of the pan and evaporates on the stove, the ensuing smell makes me nauseous, often to the point of throwing up. One day, such an incident must have happened, so I couldn't get anywhere near the servery; even being in the dining room made me feel sick. So I pointed this out to the Head of Table (a chap called Twamley. I think), but was met with a wall of indifference, even hostility.

So I went up, holding my breath, got the food, was forced to take a breath and was promptly sick all over the table's food. This caused "Spud" Heywood to get involved. Far from showing any sympathy he berated me for being a "disgusting child" and gave me detention. Ah, happy days... Like hell. [Paul Carey]


I only experienced school dinners in the canteen during the years with four to a table and self service. After reading some of the tales about earlier times I can only think – thank God! Dinner tickets had to be bought in advance and these were given to a prefect or teacher at the door. A bit like going to a cultural event, but far from it! Once inside those smells attacked your senses and sometimes you were happy to get out again. My worst meal was liver, usually on a Monday, and I’ve never eaten the stuff since. Those were the days when meals were typically meat and two veg and continental style food or world cuisine was still years away from British tables. No pizza with salad or chicken tikka masala. Strangely enough very few chips either but loads of (over)boiled spuds. I did love the desserts and puddings though. The crumbles and sponges and the legendary flypie. After a couple of years I started to take sandwiches. I could choose what went on them and there was no more waiting in the queue outside the canteen in the wind and rain. [Ian Thorogood]
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